I read this article about why settling down doesn’t mean you’re settling and here’s what stood out for me:
“Too many people think they are going to have to stop doing the things that make them happy if they get into a relationship.” (like hanging with their friends or going on trips or activities)
But actually “being with the RIGHT person will only mean that you have somebody to share all of those great experiences with.
The RIGHT relationship should never hold you back in life, but encourage you to do everything that you love, because they want to see you happy.”
There are people, men and women, who think marriage is a magically transforming event. That they can be and do anything they like and will just be able to commit and be a totally different person once the ring goes on.
To me, you’re not settling by getting married, you’re settling based on the partner you choose to marry.
So, if you’re happy and fulfilled being single and happy to mingle, you should do that until you’re not. But, you have to be honest with yourself. There is no specific age you need to be settled down by. If you’re approaching 30/35/40 and you still enjoy that life, please don’t say its time you settle down and try to quit that lifestyle cold turkey. You end up shackling yourself because your partner has certain expectations that may not align with what you desire.
Girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance, wife/husband, these are just titles, words we put on an exclusive commitment between two people. The meat of this sandwich is the feelings and respect in the relationship. Regardless of age or financial situation, all a fulfilling relationship needs is mutual values, attraction, respect, and commitment.
Communicate what you want, respect that person’s prerogative to live that way, decide if you can or want to compromise or subscribe to that way also, or leave it alone and find someone more compatible. But it doesn’t have to be a prison.
The right partner for you will make you realise the title is irrelevant. You’ll really love this person and love the dynamic you have, and expect it to progress in the same way.